If you are taking care of a loved one in hospice, you may be wondering, “What can I do now, before the death occurs, to make things easier?” That is a great question. Many family members often plan for funeral arrangements ahead of time to make things easier when the loss does occur. If this sounds like you, we hope this simple guide will help with at least one task ahead of you: writing the obituary.

The obituary is something you can work on ahead of time that will be helpful to everyone after the loss. Below are a few helpful tips and guidelines for writing a great obituary that reflects the life and of your loved one.

Young woman sitting at desk, typing on her computer

Announce the death

Start off the obituary by announcing the death. Provide your loved one’s name and a very brief description, their age, and the day of passing. You can probably squeeze all of this information into one sentence. For example:

On Monday, September 14, 2020, John Doe, loving husband and father of four children, passed away at the age of 74.

Provide general biographical information

Next, include some biographical information, such as birth date, upbringing, education, marriage information, accomplishments, and work history. With most obituaries appearing online today, there’s no need to be too careful with how many words you use. However, if you plan to send the obituary to a printed medium (like a paper newspaper), consider how much space you have. Be compact and precise with your wording. Try to get as much meaning into as few words as possible.

John was born on July 31, 1943, in Houston, TX, to Bob and Jane (Smith) Doe. He received his law degree from the University of Texas in Austin in 1971, and he practiced business law for 31 years in Houston. On May 28, 1975, he married Grace Ann Lewis. They raised two sons, Nick and Joel, and two daughters, Alice and Lisa.

Elderly man handwriting an obituary

Make it personal

Perhaps the most important ingredient for a great obituary is personalization. Try to capture the spirit of your loved one. Compose a paragraph that describes not only what your loved one did, but also what your loved one was like. For example, focus on hobbies, passions, and personal characteristics. Remember, if you are planning to submit the obituary to a print newspaper, they will charge you by line, word, or inch (depending on the publication), so don’t write more than you can afford. A short, factual obituary might be all you need. However, if you have more space to work with and you want to write a special, personalized obituary, include details like this:

John had a passion for painting. He also loved to bird watch, and he combined his two favorite hobbies to create extraordinary art. His paintings of various birds were much admired not only by friends and family, but also by all who frequented the coffee shops where his paintings were displayed. He was also an avid music lover and a collector of Beatles memorabilia. He was known for his quick wit, his infectious smile, and his kind and compassionate spirit.

Listing the family members

You don’t have to mention every nephew and cousin by name. However, it’s important to write a general overview of the family members who passed away before your loved one as well as the surviving family. Close family members can be listed by name, and other relatives can be referred to more generally.

John was preceded in death by his father, Bob, and his mother, Jane. He is survived by his wife Grace, his four children, Nick, Joel, Alice, and Lisa, his brother Paul, and several cousins, nieces, and a nephew.

Middle-aged man sitting at computer in his bright, clean home

Funeral information

To invite others to come pay their respects and take part in saying goodbye, make sure to provide the date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial service. Also include information regarding donations, flowers, or condolences.

A funeral service will be held on Thursday, September 17, 2020, at the Church of Christ on Main Street at 1 o’clock p.m. Flowers or donations may be sent to 1234 Street, Houston, TX.

Put it all together, and you’ve got a complete obituary.

                                                                         Full Sample Obituary

On Monday, September 14, 2020, John Doe, loving husband and father of four children, passed away at age 74.

John was born on July 31, 1943, in Houston, TX, to Bob and Jane (Smith) Doe. He received his law degree from the University of Texas in Austin in 1971, and he practiced business law for 31 years in Houston. On May 28, 1975, he married Grace Lewis Doe. They raised two sons, Nick and Joel, and two daughters, Alice and Lisa.

John had a passion for painting. He also loved to bird watch, and he combined his two favorite hobbies to create extraordinary art. His paintings of various birds were much admired not only by friends and family, but also by all who frequented the coffee shops where his paintings were displayed. He was also an avid music lover and a collector of Beatles memorabilia. He was known for his quick wit, his infectious smile, and his kind and compassionate spirit.

John was preceded in death by his father, Bob, and his mother, Jane. He is survived by his wife Grace, his four children, Nick, Joel, Alice, and Lisa, his brother Paul, and several cousins, nieces, and a nephew. A funeral service will be held on Thursday, September 17, 2020, at the Church of Christ on Main Street at 1 o’clock p.m. Flowers or donations may be sent to 1234 Street, Houston, TX.

Mature woman sitting at kitchen table with laptop in front of her, writing on notepad

Review for mistakes

The final step: Check, check, and check again. Once you are satisfied with the finished product, send it to a friend or a third party for review. Since obituaries are composed during a time of grief, it’s not always easy to keep a clear mind when writing one. It’s always good to get multiple perspectives. When you are sure that the obituary is what you want, send it off for publication.

For examples of unusual and inspirational obituaries, visit these pages:

This Incredible Obituary May Be the Best Thing You Read All Week

Betsy Cohen

Seattle Author’s Powerful Self-Written Obituary Goes Viral

94-year-old’s obituary is what every mom hopes her kids will write for her

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